Chapter 119 She Just Wants a Quiet Life
The birdsong outside the window was interrupted by the sound of rain. Cui Jing knew that they had started singing since four in the morning.
Cui Jing was in a state of mental deterioration. The birds chirped at four o'clock, the rain suddenly fell at five o'clock, and the blanks that exploded over the city after nine o'clock last night. She didn't know when she fell asleep and woke up again.
She anxiously got up and swallowed a large amount of inhibitory drugs as a precaution, regardless of the side effects on her body.
The package from Likang Pharmaceuticals she picked up yesterday reminded her that Likang had just launched a special oral medicine. She wanted to buy a few boxes, as oral medicines were less noticeable than inhibitors.
There was a person sitting in the shadow of the living room.
"You're back." Cui Jing adjusted her expression and asked. She smiled naturally, which had exhausted all her strength.
"It's been a while since I came back. You're awake." Fan Ci'en greeted her, "It's raining outside. It's raining heavily."
"It's true that the weather seems to be not very good recently." Cui Jing didn't care whether the weather was good or not, whether it rained or not. What does it matter? She just agreed.
Fan Ci'en continued, "The weather station has issued a warning. There will be heavy rain in the next week."
When can we go for a walk? After saying that, I actually didn’t want to. If I said next time, there would be no next time… There would be no chance. Fan Ci’en stood up.
Out of some kind of vigilance, Cui Jing took a step back, and this was like a mudslide.
"It seems that you have no intention of paying me at all, Madam." Fan Ci'en suddenly grabbed Cui Jing's hand with great force and walked towards the bedroom.
"Would you please stop going crazy all of a sudden?"
Cui Jing's weak nerves also jumped as her wrist hurt. She pulled her hand hard and fell to the ground while struggling. Even though she fell accidentally, Fan Ci'en did not let go. Her knees hit the floor and she slid along the direction of the pull and stopped at the bedroom door.
Cui Jing looked up at her in astonishment, her heart beating violently. She thought of her history of mental illness.
"Why bother?" Fan Ci'en squatted down to look at the wound on her leg: "Give me some compensation, and I will naturally serve you again if I am happy. Otherwise, what kind of charity am I doing?"
"I didn't say I wouldn't pay you."
"Then what are you withdrawing from?"
"I... don't know what you're going to do?"
"You don't know, or you don't want to." Fan Ci'en pulled her legs over and looked at her for a long time. He put his arm around her knees and picked her up. He put her on the nearest sofa, sat down beside her, lit a cigarette, and suppressed the emotions in his heart:
"I'm sorry to hurt you. I was going to say that you probably don't like the living room, but...actually anywhere should be fine."
Fan Ci'en's attitude changed too quickly, without any buffering, which made Cui Jing very confused for a moment. "I."
"Don't talk about things that make me unhappy, talk about my compensation. I have helped you after all, right? People's patience is limited, especially mine. I really like you." Fan Ci'en glanced at Cui Jing's body, his tone was embarrassing:
"I just kind of like you, now I'm really impatient."
"…Do you know what I will do to you when I lose my patience?"
Cui Jing became even more anxious.
She would not be embarrassed if her admirer suddenly stopped loving her, but... she did feel that she was in danger and that she would fall out with him in the next second. After weighing the pros and cons, she said with difficulty:
"Can I give you a kiss?"
Fan Ci'en threw the burning cigarette to the ground and started to tie her hair. "Then let's kiss first."
Then first?
"Are you still giving me the cold shoulder? Like before?"
Under urging, Cui Jing gritted her teeth and held Fan Ci'en's face. She really couldn't ignore the other party's almost material gaze. As soon as she touched her lips, she was pressed on the sofa without knowing the severity.
She looked so excited.
…She was at a loss for a few moments, thinking of her broken promise, and said anxiously in the gap between her out-of-control moments:
"Does it still count?"
"What counts?"
"walk."
Fan Ci'en stopped. She didn't expect Cui Jing to bring this up. The rain outside was very loud, the sky was very dirty, the dehumidifier in the house was running non-stop, and the air humidity was still as high as 50%. Wet, just like the abnormal lady at this moment. Her eyebrows and eyes revealed a kind of wet hysteria.
Is she really okay?
The consultant said she had no problem, Fan Ci'en thought. But Dr. Liu also said she had no problem. Of course she had a problem, she had downplayed the main issue in the scale and in the conversation.
She didn't say anything, so Cui Jing explained:
"And dancing. I said I'd do it some other time. I've downloaded some videos to review. I'm not very good at waltz, so I'm not very good at it."
The rain showed no sign of stopping. Fan Ci'en's face showed a hint of obvious emotion, which was hard to tell whether it was happiness or surprise. Cui Jing almost thought she had seen it wrong. She spoke, but her voice was not loud:
"But it's raining."
"Just hold an umbrella."
Fan Ci'en let her go.
Cui Jing's back was wet with cold sweat. She watched Fan Ci'en walk to the door and take out an umbrella. She looked back and seemed to see that she was still there, so she walked back.
"Let's go for a walk." Fan Ci'en took her hand, which was as white as a gardenia, and he felt neither happy nor disappointed.
It turns out that I really don't like her that much.
……
Cui Jing fell ill after returning from the rain. She not only took a walk, but also danced for a long time. Her pajamas pressed against her insteps in slippers, and her trouser legs and shoes were all wet. Her throat had not yet recovered, and her fever reached 37.9C. She was completely bedridden, with medicine constantly poured into her mouth.
Among the people who came to visit, she saw a sweet, innocent boy's face full of concern, and a stalker's face with brilliant chestnut curly hair.
Xie Jin is now an Omega without heat period and genital cavity. He completed the genital cavity removal surgery, and the glands were stimulated by a large amount of negative hormones and lost their function.
"I'm here to apologize. I didn't take good care of it... But, it's not all my fault! It's obviously not my fault. If that bitch named Fan hadn't come to steal the cat, I would have kept Buhei fat by now... Why am I the one to apologize... Sister, I've always wanted to see you. I miss you so much. The flowers on your balcony all froze to death, so I sent some new ones over and put them in the yard."
Apologize?
Because I'm peeping again?
She suddenly couldn't bear to listen to what he said. She always felt that... it didn't seem like good news.
Xie Jin smiled innocently and sweetly, and opened his phone to show the types of flowers on it: "They can bloom even when the weather is cold."
The picture shows her villa in Xingfu Community, with colorful potted plants placed at the front door. The layout seems to have changed, with a new tree in the yard, three stories high, touching the roof.
"Sister, you are sleepy, I will come to see you next time... Where have you been during this period? Once I can't see you, I can't see you forever. It would be great if I could see you forever."
The young man's voice lingered beside her for a long time before it disappeared.
Cui Jing opened her eyes again. Fan Ci'en was sitting beside the bed. She brought a message:
"I'm so sorry your cat died."
Cui Jing couldn't breathe.
Suddenly.
It is neither black nor timid, has poor hearing, and is a white cat, which is said to be the most unpleasant color in the eyes of cats. It bares its teeth and breathes out at every creature that approaches, trying to bluff and scare away anyone who comes close.
After she picked it up, it stuck to her all day long. When she took it out, it didn't show any obvious fear of people. It was only afraid of separation. However, this kind of thing is dead.
"How did you die?"
"Didn't Jie Jin tell you? He was hit by a car and died tragically." Fan Ci'en said indifferently.
Cui Jing touched her neck, which seemed to be unusually sensitive and hotter than normal. It seemed that the omen of secondary differentiation had appeared again. She went to the bathroom to vomit, wet her hands and fell on the counter, grabbing a rubber band hair tie. She sensitively touched the hand tie slowly, it was not her hair tie, and she found a strange bulge.
Jie Jin brought not only pictures of a new tree in her yard, but also some small things hidden in the ornaments.
She suddenly felt suffocated and wanted to scream. She suppressed the desire to scream. Was this her emotion? Was this really her emotion? Something was wrong with her body. Was it just possible that it was going to split? A thought popped into her mind -
How did she become like this?
She just wants a peaceful life.
.
What is a peaceful life?
A quiet house with complete surrounding facilities, a tree, and a palm leaf fan. Cui Jing's life can be described as smooth sailing. She has never been troubled by interpersonal relationships because everyone is normal.
Friendships become distant if not maintained, with occasional contact; relationships with opposite-sex friends stop and retreat if not developed further, and then break up. Everyone seems to be quite self-aware in their interactions. A friend said she:
"Because even though you didn't say it or emphasize it, you always showed body language that said 'we should be respectful to each other' and 'there's no need to make things awkward'. People joked about you saying 'you feel alienated'. You really do."
Whatever the truth, those interactions were peaceful. Peaceful, as peaceful as life itself.
The life that once came so effortlessly to her now became something that needed to be pursued.
Xue Yijie wanted a peaceful life. Did anyone let him go?
No;
She wants a peaceful life. Will she be let go?
will not.
She realized that as long as these people were still plundering, she would not be able to have a normal life. Of course, she was too weak, but it was not entirely because of her weakness. Strength and weakness are relative, like positive and negative magnetic poles. If one is strong, the other must be weak. Even if she reaches a certain height in the future, there will be people who are stronger than her, whether in social status or personal strength. As long as there are enough "accidents", she will repeat the same mistakes.
Strength and weakness are just a matter of thought.
The situation could be swapped at any time. It's randomness, it's luck... So, will she, who is not favored by the world, eventually be trained into a valuable dog?
She shouldn't dwell on these things. Where is the answer from a dialectical perspective?
She was just a little scared.
Are you afraid that one day you will lose the courage to resist?
In a world that is no longer smooth and unbelievably peaceful, have you become unlike yourself?
In order to live a peaceful life, even I began to hate myself for being greedy for comfort, myself for being forced and powerless, and myself for being out of control of my emotions.
If one day she is completely pushed into a desperate situation with no chance of turning the situation around, then resistance is a "mistake" in the evaluation of society and individuals, and it will ruin her life. "My mother said that I was born into this world to live a peaceful life. Eat seriously, sleep seriously, and feel every moment."
At that time, as a human being...does she still have the courage to fight back?
Cui Jing grabbed the replaced hairband and soaked it in the bathtub. She removed some electronic parts and destroyed them completely. They could never be restored. They were the accessories of the locator. An idea gradually became firm in her mind.
People living in this world are more fragile than plants. No matter who is cut off, he will not even have the chance to grow.
"I just want a peaceful life, but without that..." That's fine. She wanted to... kill them.